Syndicate

I've never been terribly fond of or even remotely impressed by House of Dereon, the "couture" label created by Beyonce's mother, Tina Knowles. Poor Tina has been through a lot this year: She filed for divorce because her husband knocked up some other broad he was shtuppin' on the side. She looked pissed enough to stab somebody in the eyeball before all that happened; I can't imagine the homicidal rage that's shining in her eyes now.

It looks like she's taking it out on her fashion line. Previews of the new collection were released today, and as usual, Beyonce looks absolutely miserable, with the puss of a girl who's only doing something because her mother made her. Let's get real here. Whether you like her music or not, you have to admit that Beyonce is one of the best dressed women in entertainment. Do you think she'd be caught dead in this shit otherwise? Not frickin' likely.

Speaking of getting caught in shit, there's no word whether Beyonce has patched things up with her philandering dad or whether she's met her new little brother. Insiders said that Beyonce was devastated by her father's infidelity and was considering firing him, but like Papa Joe Simpson he's got a pretty strong hold on his little moneymaker. He's not about to give that up, homicidal ex or no. He probably got used to sleeping with one eye open years ago.

Halle Berry on VogueWhich is, of course, the most important issue of the year not just because it contains all the new fall fashion but because it is so heavy that it can actually be used to knock someone out. Halle Berry breaks ground as only the second African-American woman to cover the iconic September issue. For a little bit of trivia, Naomi Campbell was the first to grace it in 1989. Halle, who hasn;t done a real interview in about three years, opened up to the mag about her break-up with the father of her child and her daughter who is perhaps one of the most gorgeous children on the planet. She also apparently loves to be naked and would take pictures of herself all day if she could which sounds obnoxious but if you were Halle Berry you would probably do the same thing.
On the break-up: "It's just that you realize you are not meant to go the distance with everybody. We were meant to bring this amazing little person into the world. And I think that's why we came together. And because of that, we are going to be together forever, all three of us. We are a family until we are not here anymore."

And I want a pony and a puppy and a Sno Cone machine and ...Why? Because it's the strongest chair in town. Seriously, there really isn't a furious battle over the remaining judge's slot on American Idol; I think the show is just past its prime. And it's just not the same without the wacky chemistry of the original panel. (In other words, it's just not fun to watch anymore now that the Bride of Vicodin has left the building.)

Jennifer Lopez seemed to be a shoo-in for a spot on the show, and should have been grateful given the poor performance of practically everything she touches, except for maybe Skeletor's ... oh, never mind, you dirty Gerties. Instead, Jennifer hit the producers with a laundry list of what she wanted in return for her exalted presence that became so over-the-top ridiculous they just said, "F**k it. Let's call Shania Twain." Why Shania? She did a guest gig as a mentor previously, and the producers are said to have been pursuing her ever since. She certainly fits the requirements: She's got industry experience, both as a recording artist and former wife of legendary producer Mutt Lange. She's a pretty woman, and she's very personable. She also seems like she's much more in touch with reality. I still think Jessica Simpson would be the perfect Idol judge. Damn you, Papa Joe.

Julia at EPL premiereThe most anticipated chick flick after Sex & the City 2 is finally here. The film is already getting tons of buzz because it is Julia and a bunch of hot men running around Europe, Bali and India. Plus the promotions for the film are pretty unbelievable especially considering it is a film about a divorcée on a journey of self discovery and not like bad guys blowing eachother up and entering people's sub-consciouses. It has been a while since we saw Julia on the big screen. The last time she was really on the big screen was in Duplicity unless you want to count her 13 minutes of screen time in Valentine's Day.

Here is what she told the magazine: On her family: “The children became the shooting stars of him, of that thing we have. How lucky we are that we love each other so much that we burst into three pieces.”
On behind the scenes with Brad Pitt, George Clooney, and Matt Damon: “Those boys! I was the only girl there. One day George Clooney put these giant potted trees in front of my door so that I couldn’t get out to work. I pride myself on being punctual! You didn’t want to leave your camera lying around, either, people were breaking into each other’s rooms, taking them, and let’s just say you didn’t want your mom picking up your photos at Walgreens! Photos of unidentifiable body parts.”
On working with directors: “I’m always asking those guys to tell me what they want. The same with George Clooney. ‘Name it for me,’ I tell him, ‘and I’ll do it."

JenniferJennifer Aniston is keeping busy. She is already her promoting her new film The Switch which unlike her last five films actually looks really good and, you know, like actually funny. She must really like her frequent co-star Jason Bateman (The Break-Up and now The Switch) because she has publicly spoken about having a part in the highly anticipated AD movie which has been in the works for about three years now but apparently the script is finally being written. Jason said there is actually a part in the film that would be perfect for Jen.
Yeah, actually, there's a real good part for [Aniston] in the Arrested Development movie," Bateman told MTV News this past weekend. “[Creator Mitch Hurwitz] has got half the script written. He's gotta finish the second half and then the studio's gotta love it and the cast's gotta love it and we all have to have time to do it… It’s happening.”